Can I really become a manager?

OK, thats a big question.
Giving CAT is one thing, giving it and getting a good score and getting calls from the IIMs is another thing. I know that the previous sentence sounds a bit cliche(maybe stupid) , and I will make another foolish one by saying that i have done both of these things.

I tell you that for me CAT has been like a wall that is being venerated by one and all.. lakhs of people try to jump over it every year and hardly 1 out of 100 succeeds in doing that, now most of the guys who are in this race know what is their target and thus have a fair bit idea of what to do once you jump over this wall, but I represent a totally different case. I was allured by CAT for the sheer challenge that it presented, I was challenged by my failure by a whisker when I attempted it for the first time, I was helped by those loads of idle hours that I got in my office, I was convinced by seeing so many persons around me targeting this wall(CAT), I was attracted by reading about those exorbitant salaries received by IIM graduates. All of this drive was coming from outside, it was coming from the environment rather than from within myself(its another matter that I hardly get any thing from there except triggers for bunking from college/office to watching movies/cricket matches).

So I looked at this wall and thought that i must jump over it, I thought it will be a great triumph to do that, I planned to do so, devoted my last 2-3 months to do so, and than on 19th of November I was there, in the race with around 2 lakhs of other participants, I had my mind filled with doubts because of lack of preparation and because of my consistent dismal performance in MockCats.. but i knew one thing and that was that I was much relaxed and focused than others. despite doubts I had the belief of overcoming the hurdle this time as I knew that the height of the wall(complexity of exam) is not too much and I can do that.
Finally i jumped and to a great satisfaction I jumped over it .. ended up with these scores that were good enough to give me the complete BLACKI calls .
Over All – 99.51
QA – 98.83
DI – 98.61
VA – 95.33 (kinda Lucky draw, was unlucky to get only 25 numbers but simultaneously was lucky enough to get 25.. you have to be a CAT 2006 aspirant to understand what i mean by that)

And now when i am on the other side of the wall suddenly i find myself alone and a bit dazed because of unfamiliarity of the environment out here.
I am apparently a typical non deserving call getter, not only i know nothing beyond CAT about an MBA, but i also lack those essential skills. I have a self belief that it is not that i lack those skills(for example i am kinda introvert, had zero extra currics till college, don’t find myself at much ease with strangers, has terrible sense for time management and things like that).. i feel that i have the skills but they somewhere inside me in a dormant state.
I have seen myself managing things for a group, or leading a group unexpectedly, i have seen myself enacting in a play in front of thousands of people, i have delivered surprising speeches to a gathering, i have managed things to come out of difficult situations, i have sometimes utilized my resources to their optimum use, I have raised myself to the occasion maybe very occasionally.. he he. but i have done that and i have done that all.
but yes 99% of time and occasions you find me as being just one of the crowd, maybe it is because of my excessive lazy attitude that is shaken only by shear importance of the occasion(like CAT.. and hopefully now it will be so forGD/PIs).

Now once again i am recognizing the importance of this opportunity, its not everyday that you get 6 calls from IIMs, I am feeling the drive to immerse myself in the preparation harder than I have ever done, to manage myself better than I have ever done, to again raise myself to the occasion, and suddenly those dreams about Dollars, that race, that challenge from others are not the biggest issues, the biggest issue here is to reinvent myself, issue is not to prove it to some one else in GD/PI that I am good enough, it is to convince myself that I am the one who deserves. It is to make sure that it isn’t the wrong path that I had taken for a short time, it is to make sure that the path that I have taken is the way for me and my destiny waits at the end of it.