7th Feb:-

So after that brief talk with my manager he was able to convince me that I should pay full attention to my job and should work for my personal goals in the remaining time.

I felt a bit motivated but somewhere inside I knew that this whole motivation will be gone, once I am out of his cabin.

After that I tried and tried hard to get a hang of the things, but finally one brief conversation with my TL broke all my hopes –

I needed to test my code on Unix, but didn’t have any idea of how the whole thing can be build and run on Unix (I have been a hardcore Windows user, except for the labs during my college time, when once in 4^th semester practical, I fared badly despite getting a problem whose solution was there in a well known directory, because I could not copy the solution from that directory to my directory.. poor me and my poorer command on UNIX).

For my TL it was very easy .. He tried telling me to just build it using FooFighter(ff), then replace the file and then make it your particular project, and use Portt* for such testing.

For me all this Jagron sounded as if I am being told about Laplace transformation as my introductory course in High School.

I was terrified by all these new terms, tried to explain my situation in plain words to my TL, like what is this, what is that how will i use this? it created a very bad impression and he said that BOSS ur fundas are not in place.

I accepted it because it had substance , at least in the locality of the problem being addressed.

After a while he said that he is asking for all this because my/his manager has asked him to continuously monitor my progress and he is responsible for my performance, I could understand his problem. He also told me to clarify all this to my manager as according to him I can not sit on the fence for all the time(meaning that doing nothing is not an option ), now I tried to clarify that everything(IIM intv funde) is clear to our manager and I don’t know what better can I do?

He left my desk in utter disappointment.

After this conversation/bashing I realized that no matter how much effort I put in to this in the next 1-2 days, I will not be able to complete my work(or achive anything), so it discouraged me even further and the thought of having my first IIM imterview in 3 days time prompted me to take a firm stand.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and headed straight towards my manager’s cabin.

Here is wat happened over there–

Me:- AAhh.. I feel that I have lost your confidence.. need to put whole-hearted efforts rather than bits and pieces.. which is not possible under the given circumstances for me .. I try to do work in office as u have suggested than to complete my preparation I have to study till late in night .. unable to cope.. bla ..blah..

My manager was not much engaged in this whole discussion and then suddenly he asked me very bluntly “I ma unable to get …Tell me what exactly did you have in your mind when you entered this room”

Whoa!.. now this was too much for me, I was just trying to put forward my point in the best possible way..no use of that over here, So I got slightly irritated and said that “ I just wanted to say that I will not be coming from tomorrow onwards”(and i am prepare to pay any price for this and to do ..whatever it takes!)

Now that was a beamer from my side, he discussed a bit with me if it can be avoided, and then he said that now this has gone out of his hands and it has to be shared with our Group head. As i was ready to face the worst possible outcome i said that i have no problem with that.

He Asked me to wait and went into the GH’s cabin.

I was preparing myself mentally, as this could have been my last working day out there.

He then came out and called me to his cabin.

I went there with a tornado of thoughts occupying my mind, He said that it will not be a problem and they will help me.. but asked me to give some kinda proof that I am actually taking these leaves for IIM intvs and not for any personal reason.(Shows the kind of impression I have over there J). I thought for a moment and then IIMB website came to my rescue, but not without one more twist in the tale.

He entered my Roll No incorrectly resulting in the site showing the “Sorry! you are not selected” message. My heart almost came to my mouth wondering how ill-omened his cabin has been for me. Self doubth seized me, what if I am actually not selected for Bangalore?? I though about asking him to check some other insti’s site, but I saw that he is already very frustrated. I looked at the screen to realize the mistake..corrected it and eureka! Here it shows(much to the dismay and astonishment of my manager) .. that IIMB is actually interested in me. ha haa.. May God help both of us!

So he said that they are doing this for me and they hope that I will repay for this .. I thanked him and said that I will not disappoint him.

So guys that’s it .. got a license to be on leave for next 7 days(till 15^th when I have my IIML interview)

Time (and surely this blog) will tell, how well I use this opportunity?

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